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LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm really glad Mousemod actually stepped in on this one. I know people meant well in the end but it was genuinely making me uncomfortable reading the posts that were coming in - specially when it seems it all stepped from going against someone talking about negative PERSONAL experience?

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

omg thank you for saying it. i feel like there's a middle ground between being invasive with egg jokes (i'm cis and non-conforming; i've had a share of uncomfortable guesses directed at myself previously so i may be biased) and also being a dick about implications of transness. i thought everyone agreed that gender is something very personal so you shouldn't be pushy when you see someone struggling to figure it out

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT EYY fellow gender non-conforming dragon enjoyer o7

agreed, I think some people are just so eager to be a voice of guidance in queer spaces that they genuinely don't realize they end going full circle back to falling for binary expectations and stereotypes. Queer people can and often have complicated relationships with their gender even if they are not trans. I've had top surgery and it was genuinely hurtful having people making comments about how I had yet to fully figured myself out as if this milestone didn't come after years of struggling with gender and finally being comfortable with myself, no matter how well they meant it

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

SA/AYRT

i wouldn't call myself actively non-conforming at least IRL, i just don't do or dress up as traditionally "girly" things, but the amount of times people on internet have guessed that i'm either a guy or trans is insane 😭 it also kinda weirds me out that the egg jokes usually only apply to men and women doing "masculine" things is either overlooked or clocked as empowering #feminism or whatever

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

"egg jokes usually only apply to men and women doing "masculine" things is either overlooked or clocked as empowering #feminism or whatever"

super tired and weird rn now (thanks ambien) so i might say some dumb shit or have dumb formatting due to lack of lucidity

but, to me at least, some of the egg jokes aimed at men come close to the classic toxic masculinity point of: "if you are a man who does anything stereotypically perceived as feminine then you are not a real man/actually a WOMAN!" expect with a veneer of progressiveness. Instead of "REAL alpha males don't were sissy girly clothes!" you get "You're a man who likes to wear dresses? Clearly you're a (closeted trans) woman!" Even if its not intended that way, surely at its core the egg joke is basically assuming a man who falls outside of the traditional male gender norms must be a woman or womanly in some way.

Obviously there's much much more nuance to that.

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

SA
okay actually I just checked Kid's profile and they've already wrote in their bio they have quit FR and then wrote in portuguese how it's the result of too many USAmericans and wrote the name of the medication Perlutan in their bio, comments and dragon bios. What a weird response to being told to not be weird about a strangers gender identity.

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

I had never heard of Perlutan so I googled it and... it's a birth control medication?? I don't understand what that has to do with anything lol. This person boggles me.

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

from what i understand it's a hormone regulator; probably used for DIY transition based on the context of this?

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

Apparently it contains estrogen so uhh take that how you will

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT sorry I should have clarified! Perlutan is a contraceptive originally however it is commonly prescribed here in Brazil to trans women for Estrogen HRT

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

i'm so fascinated by the bio message.
[principal skinner voice] "am i so out of line? ...no, it's the americans on this website who are wrong."

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

I am not comfortable backreading this, could someone give me the TLDR?

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

Very very shortly, Maushold (trans man) complained about issues he has had when transitioning, with people questioning if he really was a "girl" all this time because of some feminine expression he has done. He complained that "egg" jokes about femme presenting men are really annoying to him.
SleepyKattin (trans man) joined with an overall similar sentiment and experience.
Kid then quoted both of them that something they've said can be interpreted as transmisogynistic because there's nothing wrong with egg jokes in their opinion, and if you're offended at an implication of being a trans woman, you're transmisogynistic. Even though Kid admitted it doesn't apply to the two posters, because obv people questioning is Maushold & Sleepy are really "women" are just being transphobic to them. They repeatedly said that making egg jokes is like. Fundamental/needed for trans girls.
(I don't know Kid's identity, but they did say "us" when talking about trans women, so I'm assuming they're transfeminine).

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT thank you for the summary, very much appreciated. I'm glad Aequorin decided to step in because seems like the kind of thing that could quickly spiral out of control

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

NARYT

One of the things I also noticed is that Kid also was saying that it shouldn't be bad to suggest men to who try more feminine styles and looks that they might be trans or non-binary.

Which just sort of rubs me the wrong way, because unless you know them and know they are actually questioning themselves, (and want your opinion) why suggest it to them? Let them explore in peace without having people suggest 'maybe you are this, or maybe you are that'.

Basically, to me, it boils down to: not everyone wants your opinion, especially on things very personal to themselves. Even your friends might not want your opinion on such things. So, keep it to yourself unless you know that it will do some good or the person is open to hearing your opinion (and this goes for pretty much any opinion)

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

"I don't know Kid's identity, but they did say "us" when talking about trans women, so I'm assuming they're transfeminine"

They replied to a post on SMR and said that they were trans but not transfem. They also described themselves as transmisogyny exempt (TME), which I think is another way of saying they're not a transfem but I'm not familiar with the term.

https://saltminerising.tumblr.com/post/776204152353275904/thank-you-fr-community-for-reminding-me-that-fr-is#notes

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

Honestly this just seemed like a massive misunderstanding that stemmed from some language/cultural barrier. Or I guess just a genral difference in lived experiences. It's a shame they just automatically assumed the worst of each other instead of reaching a middle ground because it's a very nuanced topic.

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

personally i think egg jokes should be treated the same way as any other "culture/minority" joke.

only make them with people of that group that you know are comfortable with it and maybe don't get offended if somebody tells you they don't like them/they make them uncomfortable?

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

I am. So genuinely perplexed at Kid coming back into the thread after their initial rant to barge into SleepyKattin's response to Maushold that had nothing to do with them to continue their rant and specifically quote a post where Sleepy was specifically talking about personal experience as a transmasc person and tell them it isn't about them?? Like did they misread or did I miss something, somehow?? It's clear they're coming from a place of being passionate about the subject but like. what. why are you doing this here

Maushold's post after Aeq had already asked for the topic to be dropped was also petty and childish but really I just feel bad for the other person, they were clearly very confused afterwards

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

went to check and see what happened and saw a 19 year old binding with kt tape for 24+ hours. i don't have it in me to get into that disaster on flight rising dot com but i hope someone can get through to them before permanent damage.

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

https://saltminerising.tumblr.com/post/776151376679010304/m-from-lightning-being-incredibly-passive

Fun (sarcasm) leftist infighting happening on SMR because of the whole debacle

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

God forbid a trans man try to nip misgendering in the bud because he's sick of the misgendering he likely gets for trying to wear anything but cargo shorts and a beer/nascar related shirt.

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

it sucks being transmasc and if you try to talk about your experiences at all, people accuse you of transmisogyny. im so fucking tired man

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

holy shit the comments here were genuinely disheartening to read as a trans man wow. free block list i guess. like 98% of my dragons are men too

Re: LGBTQ+ thread

[(Anonymous)]

what the fuck are some of these people on!?