my issue is the "oh but what if you're actually trans FEM?" being aimed at me.
I'm a trans dude, I can't BE a trans woman, because I hate being seen as a cis woman. I already had all those parts taken off/removed bc I hate them, I am the opposite of trans fem, I am a fully transitioned trans dude with no intentions of ever being fem again.
Everything and everyone doesn't need to be smacked with the estrogen wand, stop aiming it at folks who don't want it.
SA Maybe I'm missing crucial context but if you're transmasc doesn't this stuff automatically not apply to you? I know coercion to detransition is a whole thing right now, but the egg cracking stuff is completely unrelated to y'all I thought? Like that's not even what the egg stuff even means it doesn't apply to people who are already trans.
Sorry, I missed an entire sentence. Thanks, mobile.
When I was figuring out my gender and thought I might be trans masc, I had lesbians and trans women trying to "shove me back into my egg" (one even said that in what she thought was funny and charming) because it was better for me to stay miserable than be masculine.
It feels weird to me that trans fems are allowed to explore but trans masc folks get so much weird feedback and we always "do it wrong." or we get "And yet another woman lost to the patriarchy"
So whenever I see someone who might be leaning to trans masc and people just go "You're a tomboy" or "Hahaha shoving you back in your egg" it just... rubs me the wrong way.
Very sorry you've gone through this, I've genuinely never heard of this sort of behavior. Maybe it's because I'm in spaces with transmasc lesbians who face a bunch of shit from people who try to police identities day in and out. Ultimately, I still agree with the idea that cis people will generally benefit from being told that there's more options to them than AGAB since we all need to start somewhere.
Forgot something. Definitely an "our experiences aren't universal" scenario but saying that transfems are allowed to explore while transmascs aren't is... Kinda wild? Almost every transfem I know has struggled to express herself because of backlash from randos and the already high standards of ideal femininity. Don't get me wrong, I have seen the other side where transmascs get derided for enjoying GNC styles or unmasculine interests. It sucks both ways. Nobody wins.
Oh yeah, don't get me wrong, I definitely know how trans women get shat on for exploring, too- it's DANGEROUS for trans women to be butch in any way that isn't your typical TV version of butch (flannel shirt and plain lipstick lol)
It sucks for everyone and I just wish folks would let people wear what they want lol.
"I still agree with the idea that cis people will generally benefit from being told that there's more options to them than AGAB since we all need to start somewhere."
you seem to have missed that the entire context of this conversation is a trans woman (or transfemme nonbinary) telling a trans man he's being transmisogynistic for not wanting to have his identity as a trans man questioned for anything short of perfectly conforming to ideal masculinity
Admittedly I only skimmed the thread because I wasn't in a place to give it a proper read. That sucks. I actually did acknowledge that I might've missed that sort of crucial context. I still stand by my statement.
ok, but the statement you made is irrelevant to the issue. no one here disagrees with you that it is a good thing to help cis people realize there are options other than default settings available to them. trans men are not cis people who need the charity of someone telling them they might actually be a woman.
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Re: LGBTQ+ thread
(Anonymous) 2025-02-22 04:30 am (UTC)(link)my issue is the "oh but what if you're actually trans FEM?" being aimed at me.
I'm a trans dude, I can't BE a trans woman, because I hate being seen as a cis woman. I already had all those parts taken off/removed bc I hate them, I am the opposite of trans fem, I am a fully transitioned trans dude with no intentions of ever being fem again.
Everything and everyone doesn't need to be smacked with the estrogen wand, stop aiming it at folks who don't want it.
Re: LGBTQ+ thread
(Anonymous) 2025-02-22 04:44 am (UTC)(link)Maybe I'm missing crucial context but if you're transmasc doesn't this stuff automatically not apply to you? I know coercion to detransition is a whole thing right now, but the egg cracking stuff is completely unrelated to y'all I thought? Like that's not even what the egg stuff even means it doesn't apply to people who are already trans.
Re: LGBTQ+ thread
(Anonymous) 2025-02-22 04:52 am (UTC)(link)When I was figuring out my gender and thought I might be trans masc, I had lesbians and trans women trying to "shove me back into my egg" (one even said that in what she thought was funny and charming) because it was better for me to stay miserable than be masculine.
It feels weird to me that trans fems are allowed to explore but trans masc folks get so much weird feedback and we always "do it wrong." or we get "And yet another woman lost to the patriarchy"
So whenever I see someone who might be leaning to trans masc and people just go "You're a tomboy" or "Hahaha shoving you back in your egg" it just... rubs me the wrong way.
Re: LGBTQ+ thread
(Anonymous) 2025-02-22 04:58 am (UTC)(link)Ultimately, I still agree with the idea that cis people will generally benefit from being told that there's more options to them than AGAB since we all need to start somewhere.
Re: LGBTQ+ thread
(Anonymous) 2025-02-22 05:07 am (UTC)(link)Re: LGBTQ+ thread
(Anonymous) 2025-02-22 05:13 am (UTC)(link)Oh yeah, don't get me wrong, I definitely know how trans women get shat on for exploring, too- it's DANGEROUS for trans women to be butch in any way that isn't your typical TV version of butch (flannel shirt and plain lipstick lol)
It sucks for everyone and I just wish folks would let people wear what they want lol.
Re: LGBTQ+ thread
(Anonymous) 2025-02-22 05:20 am (UTC)(link)you seem to have missed that the entire context of this conversation is a trans woman (or transfemme nonbinary) telling a trans man he's being transmisogynistic for not wanting to have his identity as a trans man questioned for anything short of perfectly conforming to ideal masculinity
Re: LGBTQ+ thread
(Anonymous) 2025-02-22 05:23 am (UTC)(link)Re: LGBTQ+ thread
(Anonymous) 2025-02-22 05:30 am (UTC)(link)Re: LGBTQ+ thread
(Anonymous) 2025-02-22 05:31 am (UTC)(link)Re: LGBTQ+ thread
(Anonymous) 2025-02-22 10:25 am (UTC)(link)