anonrerising | Night of the Nocturne!

The blocking talk reminded me about this. How do you handle someone with a DNI that applies to you approaching you?

I don't love the concept of DNI's in general and find most of them to be wanky. As a result I tend to avoid the people who have ones if I stumble upon them, which ultimately means that they're working as intended so win/win I guess.

But when I'm selling a dragon/item/service whatever I sometimes get approached by people with DNIs that technically applies to me. However in my eyes it shouldn't matter that I'm an adult/ships X/thinks Y when that's completely irrelevant to the situation in question, so in these cases I felt it would just be extra wanky if I went 'no, you can't buy this dragon because your DNI applies to me'.

Am I breaking some social etiquette by doing this?

I view DNIs more of ‘read this before YOU contact ME’ type thing. They chose to reach out to you - you’re not obligated to share any information about yourself and if the conversation is solely about whatever transaction, it should never come up anyway. They can’t reasonably expect you to go review their terms and agreements when they were the ones making initial contact.

Alternatively you COULD be petty and refuse the trade or whatever because you’re on their DNI. If it’s over something silly they might just reevaluate what they’re putting on there.

(Alternatively, make your own DNI where the only item is ‘people with DNIs’ lol).

I hate DNI's myself, but if someone approaches me, the onus is on them to decide to whether to do business with me.

If it's just business, I don't sweat it. But if it's for conversation, I nip it in the bud before they turn on me for a random inane reason and claim I was "hiding my true nature."

I find people with "DNIs" naive at best and outright delusional at worst, so I block anyone with them and do not interact with them regardless whether their DNIs apply to me or not - if they honestly think that airing out their weaknesses actually deter people wanting to do them harm, then I don't want to see how they would react if I accidentally said something that upset them. Maybe I'll get labelled a pedo, that's a classic.

I don't check the profiles of people who come to my service threads, I don't really care about my customers: if they aren't yet blocked by me, whatever.

ok edgelord

"I don't really care about my customers"
what a thing to say. hope nobody comes to your threads in the future

What?... They're customers, not my friends, they come to me for a purely transactional reasons - if your customers are your only friends, you do you, but I really don't care about my customers more than what they will pay me for my services. And I've yet to see any drop in customer numbers or their payouts over the last five years, so lol

Nayrt

I think it's pretty clear they meant they don't care if their customers have DNIs, not that they don't care about their customers well being lol

you're not responsible for the actions of others; if they go to you, it's on them. do as you will!

If you have to ask whether you're breaking social etiquette via the other conversation party not bothering to find out if you might be on their DNI list, the answer is no. Unequivocally, no.

ive got kinda mixed feelings on this. for me personally i probably would ignore the message to enforce their own boundary, but i dont think youre like... bad or whatever if you choose to engage.

DNIs in general are kind of a mixed bag anyways. if the DNI criteria is something the other person clearly could have checked themselves (eg. "dni if youre in wind" or "dni if you exalt") its kinda dumb that they contacted you, but if its something they cant really know from onsite activity (eg. "dni if 25+" or "dni if you support [thing]") its not entirely feasible for them to really know that.

idk. i think dni onus is honestly more on the person whos set it, but it IS a boundary that they have placed. and even if i think certain DNIs are pointless or annoying its still something i try to respect out of generally not wanting to be a dickhole. also if someone has an especially fragrant DNI i sometimes consider that a warning to stay far away for my own safety LOL

NAYRT

DNIs are not boundaries; this is a common misconception. boundaries are rules you set for your OWN behavior, not others, ex: "if you contact me, then i will block you." telling other people what to do is not setting a boundary because you cannot control other peoples' actions, only your own.

Nah. I think you're good. If they contact someone else for a service or sale and you provide it, they should know that anyone they approach might be, for instance, over 25, if that's the DNI.

TBH IDGAF about DNI's. I literally never read them. They all say the same shit anyways or they're 14 pages of the most obnoxious niche fandom related content so there's no point in bothering. Honestly in the context you provided a DNI is not needed at all. In fact admitting that you're on their DNI list would just cause unnecessary drama. 🙄 You're providing a goods/service like any regular old cashier at a grocery store. Just proceed as normal and move on. /Shrugs/

Night of the Nocturne!

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