omg fucking same. i am a huge yapper sometimes. but also childhood abuse (with gaslighting) means i am compelled to overexplain myself to my own detriment. frequent gaslighting and dismissal/minimization = "here is my essay explaining my feelings, why i have them, why they are valid, dated journal entries proving these feelings are not new, references to prior text conversations on the issue, please believe me i swear i'm not lying or trying to manipulate you, i just have feelings too"
DA I am so like this, I always want to overexplain but then make sure people know that I understand I'm not in the right about certain things sometimes it's just how I feel. It ends up being sooo long
I'm so sorry if this winds up stupid long due to being squished. Again I tried to shorten as much as possible.
So this is exactly why the posts are as they are. Autism plus potential OCD (only diagnosed as the former but the latter is likely). Not only that but the child abuse (gaslighting included) comment as well. It's very difficult not to overexplain everything and not overexplaining winds up feeling "wrong" in some capacity.
I did try to make the whole response shorter. I wrote all of that (and this) on mobile and cut down a ton of extra text (intended tone expression be damned) before posting. Believed it was short enough based on mobile's display of the preview and my efforts to actively make it shorter but nope! The "I'm not reading that" responses (serious or not) are deserved.
The only other reason I decided to even reply here again is because I don't want to continue entering this specific thread but I also want to ask for advice on how to improve future posts if I ever make them? To avoid more wall, I don't know if OT is an okay place, can't exactly DM someone, and can't find any sort of help subforum(?) like the "No Dumb Questions" one, and that one's specifically FR. Genuinely want to get better at shortening posts while conveying what I need to in the intended tone, regardless of tone tags. I don't want a repeat of this as well, and also don't want respond to anything attempting to be properly anonymous in the future if it's going to be obvious it's me anyways.
i mean this in the kindest way possible, but the best way to avoid this situation is simply by minding your business. in regards to even being brought up on a drama blog. regardless of your intent, it is truly none of your business and not appropriate to involve yourself imo.
in regards to avoiding issues once you are posted on a drama blog; just don't? like seriously the best answer is to just ignore it and the community will bitch and comment for a day or two and then get bored bc honestly this drama was relatively mid. you don't /have/ to respond
"if you can’t write your idea on the back of a calling card, you don’t have a clear idea."
pare down your replies to one paragraph (5 sentences) or less. remove adverbs. stick to the overall point of your message and don't tangent off into personal stories. if you have several sentences that all try to say the same point, cut them out and reduce it to one. ask a friend to read over it before sending.
example of an edit, using your second paragraph containing 66 words:
"I did try shortening my response. I believed it was short enough, but the responses (serious or not) are deserved."
by removing all the fluff, i reduced your paragraph to 20 words; less than 1/3 the length.
note how your second and third sentences are a longer version of the first and features a lot of unimportant detail, so it was easy to cut out and maintain the point. the third sentence conveys your personal view ("i believed it was short enough") so it does have some merit to remain partially intact, but it can be merged with the fourth sentence which contains your personal observation of the situation (but the responses are deserved").
the best lesson is to learn when you don't need to talk, though. as said before, you can just delete things before you send them, and it's a real therapy practice.
you don't need to improve posts on this specific subject, you just need to stop posting lmao. you genuinely shouldn't have posted here (deanon) in the first place.
anyway here's a text wall for u
gonna echo the other nonnie: "as said before, you can just delete things before you send them, and it's a real therapy practice." here's my suggestion: i mostly use a private journal app, but i also have a priv twitter that basically no one follows, and i just fucking yap on there. i yap and yap and yap and sometimes a buddy silently likes my posts but usually no one does, and that's fine. it feels like i told someone because "maybe someone saw it." sometime later i revisit my yapping and realize i just don't feel that strongly anymore, and no, it doesn't really need to be heard by someone else, i just needed to hear it myself by writing it out.
now as you said, you came here to vent. that's fine when you're anon, but you de-anon'd while part of active drama and tbqh you probably got dunked on extra BECAUSE of that. you literally fed the trolls (us). this is not your private journal, it's a bunch of bored fucks like me eating popcorn while watching the dogpile and sometimes throwing tomatoes. this all shoulda been kept in your journal (but thanks for sharing, this was fun for me!)
anyway, for making shit shorter: try bullet point summaries perhaps. write all your feels, then summarize the whole paragraph in a single sentence bullet point. in doing so, see if you have repetitive paragraphs (you do). also see if you can just use the single sentence summary instead of the entire paragraph (you can). your whole story about your gambling addict friend could be summarized by "my friend got addicted to gambling in a gacha game and i felt responsible because i ok'd them spending money" but you wrote a whole paragraph and gave way more detail than needed. this isn't school, you don't need to write an actual essay. just give us the bullet points. type like a fucking robot, no fucking verbosity allowed.
u could look into tips for brevity in writing, but imo first what you need is to decide what SUBJECTS need to be shared. i tried to edit your reply to your first deanon post and struggled, mainly because i kept asking "why does this even need to be shared?" it didn't. you didn't need to reply to so many things because you didn't need to share so much in the first place. the internet does not generally deserve or need context, or need it in such detail. i get the 'tism habit of oversharing but u gotta learn to reign that in based on context, and in this context oversharing is actually bad, specifically when deanon and part of the drama.
but hey, for fun, here's my edit of your first deanon post:
"Hey, StrawberryAlex here.
Firstly, want to clear up that a lot of my reactions were due to a mix of lack of sleep, stress from the auction, and honestly Toxxitone pissing me off with their behavior and making my blood boil the instant they called poorer people "lesser".
Secondly, I don't actually mind how others spend money on this game. A lot of what I said was very much being angry in the moment.
I backed out because I don't want to be the one enabling this person to make these financial decisions or validating that it's what they need to do to get anything they desire. The auction format of 100x777 very much did that in my eyes after I found out.
For a bit of context, I watched something similar happen to a former friend of mine over a gacha game. So I no longer play such games, and I no longer try to encourage anyone to spend large amounts of money on any game."
that makes sense! i can definitely emphasize as i do similar things, i think i may just be more aware that posting this kind of thing in most online spaces tends not to help. it usually just escalates the discussion because now you've given everyone even /more/ to pick over and now you have to explain MORE (not saying anyone here has been nitpicky just speaking generally)
i mean hell, i think this subject would have been dropped by now if they didn't respond at all
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(frozen comment) Re: 100x777 argument
(Anonymous) 2025-01-09 07:59 am (UTC)(link)(frozen comment) Re: 100x777 argument
(Anonymous) 2025-01-09 06:00 pm (UTC)(link)(frozen comment) Re: 100x777 argument
(Anonymous) 2025-01-09 06:02 pm (UTC)(link)(frozen comment) Re: 100x777 argument
(Anonymous) 2025-01-09 06:26 pm (UTC)(link)(frozen comment) Re: 100x777 argument
(Anonymous) 2025-01-09 06:28 pm (UTC)(link)(frozen comment) Re: 100x777 argument
(Anonymous) 2025-01-09 10:45 pm (UTC)(link)So this is exactly why the posts are as they are. Autism plus potential OCD (only diagnosed as the former but the latter is likely). Not only that but the child abuse (gaslighting included) comment as well. It's very difficult not to overexplain everything and not overexplaining winds up feeling "wrong" in some capacity.
I did try to make the whole response shorter. I wrote all of that (and this) on mobile and cut down a ton of extra text (intended tone expression be damned) before posting. Believed it was short enough based on mobile's display of the preview and my efforts to actively make it shorter but nope! The "I'm not reading that" responses (serious or not) are deserved.
The only other reason I decided to even reply here again is because I don't want to continue entering this specific thread but I also want to ask for advice on how to improve future posts if I ever make them? To avoid more wall, I don't know if OT is an okay place, can't exactly DM someone, and can't find any sort of help subforum(?) like the "No Dumb Questions" one, and that one's specifically FR. Genuinely want to get better at shortening posts while conveying what I need to in the intended tone, regardless of tone tags. I don't want a repeat of this as well, and also don't want respond to anything attempting to be properly anonymous in the future if it's going to be obvious it's me anyways.
(frozen comment) Re: 100x777 argument
(Anonymous) 2025-01-09 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)in regards to avoiding issues once you are posted on a drama blog; just don't? like seriously the best answer is to just ignore it and the community will bitch and comment for a day or two and then get bored bc honestly this drama was relatively mid. you don't /have/ to respond
(frozen comment) Re: 100x777 argument
(Anonymous) 2025-01-10 01:07 am (UTC)(link)pare down your replies to one paragraph (5 sentences) or less. remove adverbs. stick to the overall point of your message and don't tangent off into personal stories. if you have several sentences that all try to say the same point, cut them out and reduce it to one. ask a friend to read over it before sending.
example of an edit, using your second paragraph containing 66 words:
"I did try shortening my response. I believed it was short enough, but the responses (serious or not) are deserved."
by removing all the fluff, i reduced your paragraph to 20 words; less than 1/3 the length.
note how your second and third sentences are a longer version of the first and features a lot of unimportant detail, so it was easy to cut out and maintain the point. the third sentence conveys your personal view ("i believed it was short enough") so it does have some merit to remain partially intact, but it can be merged with the fourth sentence which contains your personal observation of the situation (but the responses are deserved").
(frozen comment) Re: 100x777 argument
(Anonymous) 2025-01-10 01:17 am (UTC)(link)the best lesson is to learn when you don't need to talk, though. as said before, you can just delete things before you send them, and it's a real therapy practice.
(frozen comment) Re: 100x777 argument
(Anonymous) 2025-01-10 08:14 am (UTC)(link)you don't need to improve posts on this specific subject, you just need to stop posting lmao. you genuinely shouldn't have posted here (deanon) in the first place.
anyway here's a text wall for u
gonna echo the other nonnie: "as said before, you can just delete things before you send them, and it's a real therapy practice." here's my suggestion: i mostly use a private journal app, but i also have a priv twitter that basically no one follows, and i just fucking yap on there. i yap and yap and yap and sometimes a buddy silently likes my posts but usually no one does, and that's fine. it feels like i told someone because "maybe someone saw it." sometime later i revisit my yapping and realize i just don't feel that strongly anymore, and no, it doesn't really need to be heard by someone else, i just needed to hear it myself by writing it out.
now as you said, you came here to vent. that's fine when you're anon, but you de-anon'd while part of active drama and tbqh you probably got dunked on extra BECAUSE of that. you literally fed the trolls (us). this is not your private journal, it's a bunch of bored fucks like me eating popcorn while watching the dogpile and sometimes throwing tomatoes. this all shoulda been kept in your journal (but thanks for sharing, this was fun for me!)
anyway, for making shit shorter: try bullet point summaries perhaps. write all your feels, then summarize the whole paragraph in a single sentence bullet point. in doing so, see if you have repetitive paragraphs (you do). also see if you can just use the single sentence summary instead of the entire paragraph (you can). your whole story about your gambling addict friend could be summarized by "my friend got addicted to gambling in a gacha game and i felt responsible because i ok'd them spending money" but you wrote a whole paragraph and gave way more detail than needed. this isn't school, you don't need to write an actual essay. just give us the bullet points. type like a fucking robot, no fucking verbosity allowed.
u could look into tips for brevity in writing, but imo first what you need is to decide what SUBJECTS need to be shared. i tried to edit your reply to your first deanon post and struggled, mainly because i kept asking "why does this even need to be shared?" it didn't. you didn't need to reply to so many things because you didn't need to share so much in the first place. the internet does not generally deserve or need context, or need it in such detail. i get the 'tism habit of oversharing but u gotta learn to reign that in based on context, and in this context oversharing is actually bad, specifically when deanon and part of the drama.
but hey, for fun, here's my edit of your first deanon post:
"Hey, StrawberryAlex here.
Firstly, want to clear up that a lot of my reactions were due to a mix of lack of sleep, stress from the auction, and honestly Toxxitone pissing me off with their behavior and making my blood boil the instant they called poorer people "lesser".
Secondly, I don't actually mind how others spend money on this game. A lot of what I said was very much being angry in the moment.
I backed out because I don't want to be the one enabling this person to make these financial decisions or validating that it's what they need to do to get anything they desire. The auction format of 100x777 very much did that in my eyes after I found out.
For a bit of context, I watched something similar happen to a former friend of mine over a gacha game. So I no longer play such games, and I no longer try to encourage anyone to spend large amounts of money on any game."
(frozen comment) Re: 100x777 argument
(Anonymous) 2025-01-09 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)that makes sense! i can definitely emphasize as i do similar things, i think i may just be more aware that posting this kind of thing in most online spaces tends not to help. it usually just escalates the discussion because now you've given everyone even /more/ to pick over and now you have to explain MORE (not saying anyone here has been nitpicky just speaking generally)
i mean hell, i think this subject would have been dropped by now if they didn't respond at all
(frozen comment) Re: 100x777 argument
(Anonymous) 2025-01-10 12:36 am (UTC)(link)Oh absolutely same, my (OCD and Autism-fueled) constant desire to not be misunderstood results in the same