AYRT Can you explain why a casual DM politely asking what's going on would get into harassment territory? I understand the internet environment isn't the best, but why should that stop people from trying to talk things out before escalating?
because you really shouldn't be contacting people to ask why they did whatever they wanted with a dragon you no longer own? it's just weird. they aren't breaking any rules, and if they are you should just report them over trying to talk to them about it.
DA If I've learned anything from playing it's that a lot of flight rising players do not have the tact or the nuance to word their messages properly so as to not come off as attacking nor the ability to see that a message is written 'politely' or not (see the folks who see Aeq's polite customer service style messages as "cold" and "rude"). Tone in text is difficult for a lot of the playerbase which makes sense given we have a lot of young folks, a lot of ND folks, and a lot of folks who speak english as their second/third/etc language.
Most recipients would probably be like 'whoa who's this weirdo obsessing over MY dragon' and go on the defensive right away, especially if it's pointed out that the person messaging them was a previous owner. Because most players have the understanding that once a dragon is in your lair it's yours- a message out of the blue questioning why you changed the lore on a dragon that's now in your possession already comes off as very off-putting. It's a bit like those folks who send messages to exalters about dragons they've sold being put into fodder folders.
It is considered rather weird to be checking up on dragons sold or given away like that, let alone sending messages about them. So like... I wouldn't consider one polite message harassment but.... it can open up to a lot of not great stuff. At the bare minimum you're likely looking at a block because who wants to deal with the potential of having someone blow up at you for altering your dragon as you see fit? At worse you could start a fight and end up blocked anyway and show up mentioned in an anonymous wanker thread in an anonymous drama forum thing for anons to laugh at you over how weird and out of line you were being.
If they're breaking rules, directly referencing your account or dragons by name without asking you first if that's ok, it is probably still better to not engage with them; just report and let staff handle it or to just block them yourself and move on. IMO.
AYRT I see where you're coming from - especially being ND myself. Figuring out tone over text issues are rampant everywhere, it seems.
I try to incorporate what I can of a dragon's original lore, so if someone DM'd me about a dragon they originally had, I'd hear them out. That probably puts me in the minority of players! To me, it's an opportunity for collaboration, not an attack. And if it opens me up to a meh interaction or a situation where I have to block or report, that's a risk I'm okay with taking.
If it makes me weird to approach someone under reasonable pretenses about a dragon I used to have, then I can live with that. Won't be the first time someone thinks I'm weird. Won't be the last either.
no matter how polite you think you word something, the person on the other end might not agree. your tone might not come across as polite, either. the person on the other end is a stranger to you- you don't know them, they don't know you, and you also don't know what their interpretations of confrontation are. a random player coming into your dms to ask why you chose to do something with your own dragon is a tenuous situation at best, and is a grey area for whether or not it toes the line on FR's own Dragon Ownership policy. the person on the other end may see it as you attempting to put a foot in the door to dictate how another player plays the game with their dragon. unless you know that person, and they know you well enough to understand you aren't coming in hot when you ask about why they wrote that bio, you are risking breaking rules yourself. i'm not saying you can't talk things out - you do you - but it's not smart unless you can guarantee that person on the other side will accept your message happily and not interpret it as poor taste or malice.
it's also not your job to determine whether or not someone else's lore is rule breaking, which is the only time where i said in my post you should report. staff has repeatedly - for many circumstances related to harassment and beyond - stated they prefer that if another player has done something you don't like, you should not interact, and instead report it if it's concerning to you.
tl;dr: if it's something you don't like but isn't rulebreaking, don't get involved at risk of potentially breaking rules yourself. if it's something rulebreaking, report it.
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Re: SMR Lore Salt
(Anonymous) 2024-12-18 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)Re: SMR Lore Salt
(Anonymous) 2024-12-18 07:45 pm (UTC)(link)because you really shouldn't be contacting people to ask why they did whatever they wanted with a dragon you no longer own? it's just weird. they aren't breaking any rules, and if they are you should just report them over trying to talk to them about it.
Re: SMR Lore Salt
(Anonymous) 2024-12-18 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)If I've learned anything from playing it's that a lot of flight rising players do not have the tact or the nuance to word their messages properly so as to not come off as attacking nor the ability to see that a message is written 'politely' or not (see the folks who see Aeq's polite customer service style messages as "cold" and "rude"). Tone in text is difficult for a lot of the playerbase which makes sense given we have a lot of young folks, a lot of ND folks, and a lot of folks who speak english as their second/third/etc language.
Most recipients would probably be like 'whoa who's this weirdo obsessing over MY dragon' and go on the defensive right away, especially if it's pointed out that the person messaging them was a previous owner. Because most players have the understanding that once a dragon is in your lair it's yours- a message out of the blue questioning why you changed the lore on a dragon that's now in your possession already comes off as very off-putting. It's a bit like those folks who send messages to exalters about dragons they've sold being put into fodder folders.
It is considered rather weird to be checking up on dragons sold or given away like that, let alone sending messages about them. So like... I wouldn't consider one polite message harassment but.... it can open up to a lot of not great stuff. At the bare minimum you're likely looking at a block because who wants to deal with the potential of having someone blow up at you for altering your dragon as you see fit? At worse you could start a fight and end up blocked anyway and show up mentioned in an anonymous wanker thread in an anonymous drama forum thing for anons to laugh at you over how weird and out of line you were being.
If they're breaking rules, directly referencing your account or dragons by name without asking you first if that's ok, it is probably still better to not engage with them; just report and let staff handle it or to just block them yourself and move on. IMO.
Re: SMR Lore Salt
(Anonymous) 2024-12-18 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)I try to incorporate what I can of a dragon's original lore, so if someone DM'd me about a dragon they originally had, I'd hear them out. That probably puts me in the minority of players! To me, it's an opportunity for collaboration, not an attack. And if it opens me up to a meh interaction or a situation where I have to block or report, that's a risk I'm okay with taking.
If it makes me weird to approach someone under reasonable pretenses about a dragon I used to have, then I can live with that. Won't be the first time someone thinks I'm weird. Won't be the last either.
Re: SMR Lore Salt
(Anonymous) 2024-12-19 01:49 am (UTC)(link)no matter how polite you think you word something, the person on the other end might not agree. your tone might not come across as polite, either. the person on the other end is a stranger to you- you don't know them, they don't know you, and you also don't know what their interpretations of confrontation are. a random player coming into your dms to ask why you chose to do something with your own dragon is a tenuous situation at best, and is a grey area for whether or not it toes the line on FR's own Dragon Ownership policy. the person on the other end may see it as you attempting to put a foot in the door to dictate how another player plays the game with their dragon. unless you know that person, and they know you well enough to understand you aren't coming in hot when you ask about why they wrote that bio, you are risking breaking rules yourself. i'm not saying you can't talk things out - you do you - but it's not smart unless you can guarantee that person on the other side will accept your message happily and not interpret it as poor taste or malice.
it's also not your job to determine whether or not someone else's lore is rule breaking, which is the only time where i said in my post you should report. staff has repeatedly - for many circumstances related to harassment and beyond - stated they prefer that if another player has done something you don't like, you should not interact, and instead report it if it's concerning to you.
tl;dr: if it's something you don't like but isn't rulebreaking, don't get involved at risk of potentially breaking rules yourself. if it's something rulebreaking, report it.