Happy 8th Anniversary!

[mindlessflight]

Have an Anniversary Turducken.

 

Positivity Post
No Dumb Questions Post

Anniversary Thread
 Wanker Thread
OT Thread


Latest Page
Flatview
Report a Thread
Rules
 

Comments

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

"I don't trust cis lesbians out in the wild" I understand you had this horrible experience and I am sorry it happened to you, that's horrible. however it's lesbophpbic to just say you're weary of all cis lesbians. also, how can you tell who is cis and who isn't? maybe my lesbian heart is just sad about all the lesbophobia within the community.

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt, but i know quite a few trans people (especially trans women) who are afraid of / wary of cis lesbians because of their repeated experiences with violence or harassment from them. (and while this gets off the main point, i know bi/pan people and aspec people who've dealt with harassment campaigns and really vicious cruelty from cis lesbian dogpiles, too. terfs and the like tend to target cis lesbians for radicalization, and they do that by isolating them against the rest of the lgbtq+ community, convincing them that mlm, bi women, trans people, etc are out to "steal" from them and hurt them.)

i think that the ideal response from us lesbians isnt to shame trans people for being traumatized or scarred by the transphobia theyve faced, but to be especially vigilant and stubborn about keeping terfs and the like out of queer spaces, and about standing up for trans people.

like, this is basically "not all men" territory. of course not all cis lesbians are dangerous or transphobic, but when it comes up often enough to be a pattern, and when that pattern makes other marginalized people unsafe, it's better to actually deal with that behavior rather than :/ing at the targets for admitting their messy feelings.

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

+1

Well thought out response.

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT
Thanks, Non. I wasn't in the best head place when I came here and reading "cis lesbians make me weary" just sent me over the edge so I had to say something. If I thought about it more I would probably have realized everything you're saying. Thank you for taking the time to type it out, wlw solidarity

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

don't worry about it, i understand where you're coming from. especially during pride month, where homophobes are extra loud so i think most of us end up with higher tensions.

thank you for hearing me out!

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

No really thank you again for talking to me kindly. As soon as I read back my comment I was afraid I would be accused of being a TERF (because admitting I did word it poorly), so I really appreciate you understanding where I am coming from. I think you are right and the blatant homophobia that's been shoved in my face every day this month has just put me on edge. Thank you again <3

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

kudos to you for this incredibly thought out and mature response! +1! from a trans guy, thank you for being understanding /gen /pos

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

Late to the party, but I'm the anon who said he was wary of cis lesbians, and that's exactly what I meant.

I love lesbians, some of my best friends are lesbians- but they're mostly online.

When I'm out and about in meatspace, I am wary of being flirted with by women, because i don't always pass as masculine (being poor and not having access to top surgery with a large chest doesn't do me any favors) and as soon as they let it slip they think I'm a woman, I immediately want to abandon ship, because I don't want to be yelled at, hit, etc.

I don't hate lesbians. I love them. I just don't trust the ones that flirt with me because I don't always pass, and it creates a potentially unsafe situation for me.

And that's exactly what terfs want- to create a wedge between trans folks and the rest of the lgbtq+ community, and it's working.

(frozen comment) Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh I’ve met so many creepy ugly predatory cis lesbians

(frozen comment) Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

Lol, that's all of em

(frozen comment) Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

Implying all cis lesbians are like this is not a good look on you anon

(frozen comment) Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

uhhh

(frozen comment) Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

*softly* Don't.

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

FFS let trans people talk about their experience for once without interjecting your hurt feelings over it.

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

K?

How many inches do you want to choke on?

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT (I think?)
Lesbians have feelings too. Another anon has explained kindly to me where this reaction comes from, but we are all in the same community and should be able to talk to one another. If that means a lesbian saying "hey that felt like lesbophobia to me" that doesn't mean my feelings are lesser than/have less value than the person who was directly venting about people like me.
I hope you're having a good day, Non.

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

bruh

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

Other people complaining about being mistreated is not oppression.

Is this the same TERF currently spamming the comm?

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

I am aware, thank you. That's why I said "it FEELS like lesbophobia". feelings are subjective, and I am thankful that as a community we are able to talk about these feelings and discuss them and all come to agreements about stuff. Sometimes our feelings just need to be talked about and what can feel like somebody being -phobic can be solved by a simple discussion. It is hard to read text over the internet. Sorry if I came across poorly, just as a lesbian it does hurt seeing so much lesbophobia this pride, and as another anon pointed out to me this isn't a case of that but simply my own feelings. Thank you!

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

That's a lot of words to say basically nothing.

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

If you don't want to try and reach across the table when someone else is clearly doing the same, just keep your mouth shut.

Re: Happy pride month!

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT
sorry, I am trying to explain myself but English is hard and I'm trying to not accidentally come across as antagonistic/mean. I do appreciate these discussions and I feel they are important. Sorry if expressing my feelings was in anyway inappropriate. How would I go about expressing this sentiment in the future?

Re: Happy pride month!

[vasemod]

"Is this the same TERF currently spamming the comm?"
Yes