nayrt, but i know quite a few trans people (especially trans women) who are afraid of / wary of cis lesbians because of their repeated experiences with violence or harassment from them. (and while this gets off the main point, i know bi/pan people and aspec people who've dealt with harassment campaigns and really vicious cruelty from cis lesbian dogpiles, too. terfs and the like tend to target cis lesbians for radicalization, and they do that by isolating them against the rest of the lgbtq+ community, convincing them that mlm, bi women, trans people, etc are out to "steal" from them and hurt them.)
i think that the ideal response from us lesbians isnt to shame trans people for being traumatized or scarred by the transphobia theyve faced, but to be especially vigilant and stubborn about keeping terfs and the like out of queer spaces, and about standing up for trans people.
like, this is basically "not all men" territory. of course not all cis lesbians are dangerous or transphobic, but when it comes up often enough to be a pattern, and when that pattern makes other marginalized people unsafe, it's better to actually deal with that behavior rather than :/ing at the targets for admitting their messy feelings.
AYRT Thanks, Non. I wasn't in the best head place when I came here and reading "cis lesbians make me weary" just sent me over the edge so I had to say something. If I thought about it more I would probably have realized everything you're saying. Thank you for taking the time to type it out, wlw solidarity
don't worry about it, i understand where you're coming from. especially during pride month, where homophobes are extra loud so i think most of us end up with higher tensions.
No really thank you again for talking to me kindly. As soon as I read back my comment I was afraid I would be accused of being a TERF (because admitting I did word it poorly), so I really appreciate you understanding where I am coming from. I think you are right and the blatant homophobia that's been shoved in my face every day this month has just put me on edge. Thank you again <3
Late to the party, but I'm the anon who said he was wary of cis lesbians, and that's exactly what I meant.
I love lesbians, some of my best friends are lesbians- but they're mostly online.
When I'm out and about in meatspace, I am wary of being flirted with by women, because i don't always pass as masculine (being poor and not having access to top surgery with a large chest doesn't do me any favors) and as soon as they let it slip they think I'm a woman, I immediately want to abandon ship, because I don't want to be yelled at, hit, etc.
I don't hate lesbians. I love them. I just don't trust the ones that flirt with me because I don't always pass, and it creates a potentially unsafe situation for me.
And that's exactly what terfs want- to create a wedge between trans folks and the rest of the lgbtq+ community, and it's working.
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anonrerising2021-06-08 04:27 am
Re: Happy pride month!
(Anonymous) 2021-06-11 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)i think that the ideal response from us lesbians isnt to shame trans people for being traumatized or scarred by the transphobia theyve faced, but to be especially vigilant and stubborn about keeping terfs and the like out of queer spaces, and about standing up for trans people.
like, this is basically "not all men" territory. of course not all cis lesbians are dangerous or transphobic, but when it comes up often enough to be a pattern, and when that pattern makes other marginalized people unsafe, it's better to actually deal with that behavior rather than :/ing at the targets for admitting their messy feelings.
Re: Happy pride month!
(Anonymous) 2021-06-11 06:05 pm (UTC)(link)Well thought out response.
Re: Happy pride month!
(Anonymous) 2021-06-11 06:09 pm (UTC)(link)Thanks, Non. I wasn't in the best head place when I came here and reading "cis lesbians make me weary" just sent me over the edge so I had to say something. If I thought about it more I would probably have realized everything you're saying. Thank you for taking the time to type it out, wlw solidarity
Re: Happy pride month!
(Anonymous) 2021-06-11 06:13 pm (UTC)(link)don't worry about it, i understand where you're coming from. especially during pride month, where homophobes are extra loud so i think most of us end up with higher tensions.
thank you for hearing me out!
Re: Happy pride month!
(Anonymous) 2021-06-11 06:28 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Happy pride month!
(Anonymous) 2021-06-13 12:55 am (UTC)(link)Re: Happy pride month!
(Anonymous) 2021-06-13 10:52 am (UTC)(link)I love lesbians, some of my best friends are lesbians- but they're mostly online.
When I'm out and about in meatspace, I am wary of being flirted with by women, because i don't always pass as masculine (being poor and not having access to top surgery with a large chest doesn't do me any favors) and as soon as they let it slip they think I'm a woman, I immediately want to abandon ship, because I don't want to be yelled at, hit, etc.
I don't hate lesbians. I love them. I just don't trust the ones that flirt with me because I don't always pass, and it creates a potentially unsafe situation for me.
And that's exactly what terfs want- to create a wedge between trans folks and the rest of the lgbtq+ community, and it's working.
(frozen comment) Re: Happy pride month!
(Anonymous) 2021-06-13 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)(frozen comment) Re: Happy pride month!
(Anonymous) 2021-06-13 09:14 pm (UTC)(link)(frozen comment) Re: Happy pride month!
(Anonymous) 2021-06-13 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)(frozen comment) Re: Happy pride month!
(Anonymous) 2021-06-13 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)(frozen comment) Re: Happy pride month!
(Anonymous) 2021-06-14 04:11 am (UTC)(link)