To add to identifying toxicity: If you're struggling with interpersonal stuff it can be worth it to read through your past conversations and try to identify how, what, and why you are communicating, which can be three very different things.
For example, we had a member in a server that had opinions that I thought were often interesting and well researched. Unfortunately the way she would communicate was extremely aggressively and combatative, talking down to whoever she was in the chat with, and would enter casual conversations on topics as mundane as toothpaste and turn them into hostile debates. What she communicated was fine, but how she communicated drove people away, and her reason for communicating seemed to be that she was there to start and win fights, maybe to use people as an outlet.
Counterexample is a person I saw get kicked out of a small server. They were great at friendly conversation, but then started to defend some conservative rhetoric under pretext of ignorance. They eventually tried to manipulate people into gifting them things. How they were communicating was technically socially acceptable, but what they communicated was toxic af, and their reason for communicating was selfish and manipulative.
Idk how helpful this kind of rigid framework is for your context, and of course there are times when being disagreeable in a chat is the right choice. If you're being disagreeable towards wankers like dakk then by all means carry on.
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Re: Discord toxicity and me
(Anonymous) 2023-07-11 01:37 pm (UTC)(link)+1 Good advice.
To add to identifying toxicity: If you're struggling with interpersonal stuff it can be worth it to read through your past conversations and try to identify how, what, and why you are communicating, which can be three very different things.
For example, we had a member in a server that had opinions that I thought were often interesting and well researched. Unfortunately the way she would communicate was extremely aggressively and combatative, talking down to whoever she was in the chat with, and would enter casual conversations on topics as mundane as toothpaste and turn them into hostile debates. What she communicated was fine, but how she communicated drove people away, and her reason for communicating seemed to be that she was there to start and win fights, maybe to use people as an outlet.
Counterexample is a person I saw get kicked out of a small server. They were great at friendly conversation, but then started to defend some conservative rhetoric under pretext of ignorance. They eventually tried to manipulate people into gifting them things. How they were communicating was technically socially acceptable, but what they communicated was toxic af, and their reason for communicating was selfish and manipulative.
Idk how helpful this kind of rigid framework is for your context, and of course there are times when being disagreeable in a chat is the right choice. If you're being disagreeable towards wankers like dakk then by all means carry on.