So I got into a feminist organisation at my uni and oh my God the two girls on my team do no work.
I have screenshots of them repeatedly promising to do work "by tonight" and Gdocs history showing I'm the only one working on the proposal. Screens of them constantly saying "I'm busy I can't" "I can't go for the meeting" or even just me pinging them going "hey are you coming to the meeting tonight?" and getting no response.
I'm sick of having to chase them like we're fucking children just to get them to do some work and I don't even know how to get out of this situation. If it were a school project id just report them to the tutor and let them fail. But the presidents of the org are people I look up to and they're only 3-4 years older than me so it feels super childish to "complain" to them (it's a small enough org that they're basically my direct supervisors)
I have no idea what to do. I'd expect other young adults to behave better. If you can't even make it to a single meeting why the hell would you sign up for a high commitment social work organisation.
i would say talk to the presidents and see if they have any insight. it doesn't have to be an outright complaint - frame it as what you have and what you need.
explanation of issue & attempts to resolve, request support, suggestion for support: "i am unable to stay on top of this project with the current workload. i have attempted to contact my partners multiple times, but they are neither contributing to the proposal nor are they able to set aside time to work on it. what options do we have for additional support? would anyone else be able to fill in at this time?"
It's not childish to "complain"—you're asking for help instead of just letting a project flounder, which is the responsible thing to do. The other anon gave great suggestions for that so I won't go into it any more. But re: your last question, I think there's a few reasons: 1. Young adults are pushed so hard to do things that will look good on a resume and it's easy to get stuck in a trap of overcommitting, especially if you're a high achiever or came from a pushy background; 2. College is a lot harder than some people expect and maybe they didn't realize the level of commitment needed for the org; 3. I struggled a lot with my mental health in college, and burnout is also pretty common among students.
I'm not saying it's not irresponsible of them to be behaving this way, but keep in mind that college is often the first time people have to handle their own affairs and if they weren't properly prepared for it and/or have mental health issues or other disabilities, it can be especially challenging. Hopefully the other women in your group do end up learning from the experience, at least. It can be hard to get out of that "must do everything" mindset, especially when you feel like others are relying on you to step up. Anyhow, I'm sorry you feel so alone and I hope you are able to get the support you need. You should not suffer because of your group members' failure to fulfill commitments.
Hey thanks for the responses. The other person sent "We are very behind on the timeline" last night and when I woke up she had sent another "Are you guys going to do anything?" message so I am definitely bringing this to the presidents. As of 6pm right now she still has made no changes whatsoever to the doc so I'm not sure it's me who has to "do anything".
Let me know if y'all want updates, I am very depressed and it would be nice to have external people to talk to about this shit. Worst case I lose my position since she seems to have some connections.
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anonrerising2021-06-08 04:27 am
Re: OT Thread
(Anonymous) 2021-06-27 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)I have screenshots of them repeatedly promising to do work "by tonight" and Gdocs history showing I'm the only one working on the proposal. Screens of them constantly saying "I'm busy I can't" "I can't go for the meeting" or even just me pinging them going "hey are you coming to the meeting tonight?" and getting no response.
I'm sick of having to chase them like we're fucking children just to get them to do some work and I don't even know how to get out of this situation. If it were a school project id just report them to the tutor and let them fail. But the presidents of the org are people I look up to and they're only 3-4 years older than me so it feels super childish to "complain" to them (it's a small enough org that they're basically my direct supervisors)
I have no idea what to do. I'd expect other young adults to behave better. If you can't even make it to a single meeting why the hell would you sign up for a high commitment social work organisation.
Re: OT Thread
(Anonymous) 2021-06-27 06:49 pm (UTC)(link)explanation of issue & attempts to resolve, request support, suggestion for support: "i am unable to stay on top of this project with the current workload. i have attempted to contact my partners multiple times, but they are neither contributing to the proposal nor are they able to set aside time to work on it. what options do we have for additional support? would anyone else be able to fill in at this time?"
Re: OT Thread
(Anonymous) 2021-06-27 08:49 pm (UTC)(link)1. Young adults are pushed so hard to do things that will look good on a resume and it's easy to get stuck in a trap of overcommitting, especially if you're a high achiever or came from a pushy background;
2. College is a lot harder than some people expect and maybe they didn't realize the level of commitment needed for the org;
3. I struggled a lot with my mental health in college, and burnout is also pretty common among students.
I'm not saying it's not irresponsible of them to be behaving this way, but keep in mind that college is often the first time people have to handle their own affairs and if they weren't properly prepared for it and/or have mental health issues or other disabilities, it can be especially challenging. Hopefully the other women in your group do end up learning from the experience, at least. It can be hard to get out of that "must do everything" mindset, especially when you feel like others are relying on you to step up.
Anyhow, I'm sorry you feel so alone and I hope you are able to get the support you need. You should not suffer because of your group members' failure to fulfill commitments.
OP
(Anonymous) 2021-06-28 10:06 am (UTC)(link)Let me know if y'all want updates, I am very depressed and it would be nice to have external people to talk to about this shit. Worst case I lose my position since she seems to have some connections.
Re: OP
(Anonymous) 2021-06-28 04:01 pm (UTC)(link)