There’s a difference between calling someone out on a bad behaviour and pointing at someone and saying “look a this dysfunctional person, they suck” and only one of those is actually helpful.
if this ultimately pretty mild discussion + documentation of someone who has made many extremely unkind statements strikes you as so excessive, anonymous gossip communities may just... not be your kind of place, anon.
when you being a dysfunctional person makes the space around you an unpleasant place to be, you're gonna get people bitching about it. this place does not exist to help people. it exists to bitch about people.
if being dysfunctional makes you an asshole to everyone around you, you need therapy
No, I just feel bad for this specific person because of all people on the site they need to *stop* participating in the gossip feedback, because that's not contributing to their mental health. Not because I think they are correct, I just feel bad for people who are their own chief problem.
And also because there's a difference between documenting someone's unkind statements and documenting someone's mental spiral. As far as documenting any nastiness to other players, fire away.
One of the things to consider (and I am not AYRT), and one reason why I do feel things like this should be called out, is that they are doing it on a dragon breeding/dressup site.
No one on site can help. Unless they are getting a ton of PMs from people, I also haven't see anyone on site actually being mean to them, and if they cannot stop themselves from visiting drama blogs, then TwinFish (who is supposed to be the go to person for them) *needs* to step in and stop them from going on said sites.
This can also make other people feel worse (people who aren't even involved in any of it) because they know they can't do anything and they see someone who seems to be struggling and a 'victim' of harassment, and they don't know about the repeated nature of this behavior. Especially younger people who might also be struggling with their own problems and don't have the resources/experience to deal with them.
So, I do feel that documenting the both the unkind statements and the 'everyone hates me' flip side is helpful because it gives evidence for people to use in order to explain *why* AC is their own worst enemy.
normally i would agree. but this is AC. they do this constantly.
AC is an adult. AC makes the consistent choice to post these "mental spirals" in a public space that is easily connected to their online presence on a website where they are consistently unkind and constantly calling everyone around them bigots because they've been slightly inconvenienced. there is no doubt in my mind that AC is aware that people talk negatively about them as a result of their actions on FR. and they still continue to make the choice to publicly post all of their personal/mental issues.
again. AC is an adult. AC is almost middle aged. regardless of what issues you have, this behavior is completely inappropriate. especially when we're talking about a 13+ pet sim.
imo i think documenting these things is important, so people are aware this is something that AC does literally constantly. AC usually does this in response to people acting negatively to something that they said/did. complete armchair here but i truly believe a lot of this is done for sympathy farming from the few people that aren't aware this is a pattern of behavior.
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da
(Anonymous) 2024-07-26 12:31 am (UTC)(link)if this ultimately pretty mild discussion + documentation of someone who has made many extremely unkind statements strikes you as so excessive, anonymous gossip communities may just... not be your kind of place, anon.
Re: da
(Anonymous) 2024-07-26 12:51 am (UTC)(link)when you being a dysfunctional person makes the space around you an unpleasant place to be, you're gonna get people bitching about it. this place does not exist to help people. it exists to bitch about people.
if being dysfunctional makes you an asshole to everyone around you, you need therapy
Re: da
(Anonymous) 2024-07-26 05:14 am (UTC)(link)No, I just feel bad for this specific person because of all people on the site they need to *stop* participating in the gossip feedback, because that's not contributing to their mental health. Not because I think they are correct, I just feel bad for people who are their own chief problem.
And also because there's a difference between documenting someone's unkind statements and documenting someone's mental spiral. As far as documenting any nastiness to other players, fire away.
Re: da
(Anonymous) 2024-07-26 12:16 pm (UTC)(link)No one on site can help. Unless they are getting a ton of PMs from people, I also haven't see anyone on site actually being mean to them, and if they cannot stop themselves from visiting drama blogs, then TwinFish (who is supposed to be the go to person for them) *needs* to step in and stop them from going on said sites.
This can also make other people feel worse (people who aren't even involved in any of it) because they know they can't do anything and they see someone who seems to be struggling and a 'victim' of harassment, and they don't know about the repeated nature of this behavior. Especially younger people who might also be struggling with their own problems and don't have the resources/experience to deal with them.
So, I do feel that documenting the both the unkind statements and the 'everyone hates me' flip side is helpful because it gives evidence for people to use in order to explain *why* AC is their own worst enemy.
Re: da
(Anonymous) 2024-07-26 01:59 pm (UTC)(link)normally i would agree. but this is AC. they do this constantly.
AC is an adult. AC makes the consistent choice to post these "mental spirals" in a public space that is easily connected to their online presence on a website where they are consistently unkind and constantly calling everyone around them bigots because they've been slightly inconvenienced. there is no doubt in my mind that AC is aware that people talk negatively about them as a result of their actions on FR. and they still continue to make the choice to publicly post all of their personal/mental issues.
again. AC is an adult. AC is almost middle aged. regardless of what issues you have, this behavior is completely inappropriate. especially when we're talking about a 13+ pet sim.
imo i think documenting these things is important, so people are aware this is something that AC does literally constantly. AC usually does this in response to people acting negatively to something that they said/did. complete armchair here but i truly believe a lot of this is done for sympathy farming from the few people that aren't aware this is a pattern of behavior.