partially; you owe it to your mods, too, and the community members who follow the rules. rules are just words, and they are very easy to ignore or forget about in the moment of poor mental health. we had a similar rule among others, locked down the channel behind a role that mods had to apply manually to an account after the user DMed one with a small summary of the rules in their own words (to make sure they read the rules, and also to make sure people weren't just stumbling into the vent channel), and even enforced a 5 minute slowmode on it to give people time to think about what they were going to say and prevent spam. did not stop the occasional bombshell.
tl;dr: it takes a village to keep a village from burning down.
What's tough for me as a newbie admin is that I had never encountered this venting obsession behavior before. So my first impulse was to give it space and console the person venting extremely heavy topics. I think a lot of people's first impulse are the same.
At the end of the day, I think rules are necessary because of the fact that these online spaces arent actually communities. Rules should keep venting to every day things. And while people (or maybe just people like me) respond with sympathy, the sympathy isnt real unless you know the person. I've had a person I helped during these vent sessions turn on me because when they realized I was assisting only out of obligation, they got even more upset. But I don't know them and can't magically manifest feelings out of nothing. Even tho I wanted to help.
you're completely right! rules are very necessary, especially for tense spaces like a vent channel, and even moreso when young teens are possibly added to the mix. the part that rules plays relies on the community working together, however, in the roles that they play. community members can ping or DM mods when something comes up, and mods can follow through to make sure that the space is following community rules for everyone while offering guidance where they can. rules work when everyone works together.
and this follows into your next point: it's not just you who jumps to helping. it's a completely normal reaction to seeing someone else in distress even when you don't know them. you might not be able to completely sympathize with a person you don't know, but you *can* genuinely empathize simply because you're both human, and you can reasonably understand that the feelings they're having aren't pleasant/feelings you'd want to experience similarly. that's usually where these situations start to fall apart and rules go by the wayside- people often jump immediately to help first and forget the rest. this isn't a bad thing, but it can lend to the chaos if it all takes place in the public where everyone can see and interact.
imaginably, you did what you could with what mental bandwidth and experience you had. we're not always equipped to deal with that kind of situation coming out of nowhere, from people who we don't know well enough to give the help they need. they were in a vulnerable place, probably dealing with things out of your wheelhouse. it sucks, but they are responsible for their feelings and expressions. the best you can do is your best.
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Re: Vent Channels on Discord
(Anonymous) 2024-05-16 02:33 am (UTC)(link)partially; you owe it to your mods, too, and the community members who follow the rules. rules are just words, and they are very easy to ignore or forget about in the moment of poor mental health. we had a similar rule among others, locked down the channel behind a role that mods had to apply manually to an account after the user DMed one with a small summary of the rules in their own words (to make sure they read the rules, and also to make sure people weren't just stumbling into the vent channel), and even enforced a 5 minute slowmode on it to give people time to think about what they were going to say and prevent spam. did not stop the occasional bombshell.
tl;dr: it takes a village to keep a village from burning down.
Re: Vent Channels on Discord
(Anonymous) 2024-05-16 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)At the end of the day, I think rules are necessary because of the fact that these online spaces arent actually communities. Rules should keep venting to every day things. And while people (or maybe just people like me) respond with sympathy, the sympathy isnt real unless you know the person. I've had a person I helped during these vent sessions turn on me because when they realized I was assisting only out of obligation, they got even more upset. But I don't know them and can't magically manifest feelings out of nothing. Even tho I wanted to help.
Re: Vent Channels on Discord
(Anonymous) 2024-05-16 07:22 pm (UTC)(link)you're completely right! rules are very necessary, especially for tense spaces like a vent channel, and even moreso when young teens are possibly added to the mix. the part that rules plays relies on the community working together, however, in the roles that they play. community members can ping or DM mods when something comes up, and mods can follow through to make sure that the space is following community rules for everyone while offering guidance where they can. rules work when everyone works together.
and this follows into your next point: it's not just you who jumps to helping. it's a completely normal reaction to seeing someone else in distress even when you don't know them. you might not be able to completely sympathize with a person you don't know, but you *can* genuinely empathize simply because you're both human, and you can reasonably understand that the feelings they're having aren't pleasant/feelings you'd want to experience similarly. that's usually where these situations start to fall apart and rules go by the wayside- people often jump immediately to help first and forget the rest. this isn't a bad thing, but it can lend to the chaos if it all takes place in the public where everyone can see and interact.
imaginably, you did what you could with what mental bandwidth and experience you had. we're not always equipped to deal with that kind of situation coming out of nowhere, from people who we don't know well enough to give the help they need. they were in a vulnerable place, probably dealing with things out of your wheelhouse. it sucks, but they are responsible for their feelings and expressions. the best you can do is your best.