"however, i developed the theory that it also has partly to do with the aggression people experience and dish out online. people so often feel the need to have to justify and defend their words and actions by validating them with these conditions ... sometimes people think they have to preface their wants with "please help me, i have [condition]" in order to get people to look at it"
This is very insightful, and have come to the same conclusion as you. I have unfortunately found it to be true sometimes: someone's admission of trauma or identification with a marginalized identity lends them authority or validity in a certain situation. It shouldn't have to be that way, and I would argue social spaces with such (unusually unspoken) requirements are harmful. Unfortunately there are a lot of pockets like this on the internet, from subreddits to Discord servers and even group texts among friends.
It dilutes the word trauma if people use it to describe things that don't quite meet a certain threshold, and it encourages people to make their traumas/marginalization a larger part of their identity than is probably healthy. It also leads to strange phenomena like relatively privileged people who REALLY want to be oppressed and attempt to claim victimhood in unexpected ways, as well as people applying the perpetrator/victim dynamic in situations where it is not really appropriate.
I do worry about super online young people, especially lgbtq kids who primarily find community/friends online, internalizing this kind of thinking into adulthood. I don't think it's healthy to learn to use your marginalization as a social defense and I don't think it contributes to personal growth; after all, being disabled or mentally ill (or lactose intolerant lol) isn't an excuse if you treat someone poorly.
I read an essay a while back that I thought was interesting and was related to this subject. Warning, it's pretty long, and apologies if you like Hannah Gadsby as the author really rips into her, but the author is an older queer activist who shares a different perspective I don't see often. I don't agree with everything in it, but the general idea rings true for me. I highly recommend it! :)
ayrt I'm so glad you like her stuff!! I just find her so interesting because she's commenting on modern issues/activism but with the weight of all her decades of activism experience (as well as being from a non-Western background) so her opinions are often fresh and not always even in line with modern social justice norms (which I find refreshing).
She has more writing here: https://www.currentaffairs.org/author/yasmin-nair
Thanks for that link, anon. I don't agree with everything the author says, but it's a really thought-provoking take (and as an older lesbian who is lucky enough not to have a backstory full of severe trauma, it really touches on feelings of inauthenticity I've had ever since I realized I was queer, back in the 80s. More often than I like there's a little voice in the back of my head whispering how can I be Really Queer (tm) if I haven't been beaten up/raped/disowned/fired/whatever and =suffered= for it?)
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Re: Unpopular Opinion...
(Anonymous) 2023-08-04 02:51 pm (UTC)(link)"however, i developed the theory that it also has partly to do with the aggression people experience and dish out online. people so often feel the need to have to justify and defend their words and actions by validating them with these conditions ... sometimes people think they have to preface their wants with "please help me, i have [condition]" in order to get people to look at it"
This is very insightful, and have come to the same conclusion as you. I have unfortunately found it to be true sometimes: someone's admission of trauma or identification with a marginalized identity lends them authority or validity in a certain situation. It shouldn't have to be that way, and I would argue social spaces with such (unusually unspoken) requirements are harmful. Unfortunately there are a lot of pockets like this on the internet, from subreddits to Discord servers and even group texts among friends.
It dilutes the word trauma if people use it to describe things that don't quite meet a certain threshold, and it encourages people to make their traumas/marginalization a larger part of their identity than is probably healthy. It also leads to strange phenomena like relatively privileged people who REALLY want to be oppressed and attempt to claim victimhood in unexpected ways, as well as people applying the perpetrator/victim dynamic in situations where it is not really appropriate.
I do worry about super online young people, especially lgbtq kids who primarily find community/friends online, internalizing this kind of thinking into adulthood. I don't think it's healthy to learn to use your marginalization as a social defense and I don't think it contributes to personal growth; after all, being disabled or mentally ill (or lactose intolerant lol) isn't an excuse if you treat someone poorly.
I read an essay a while back that I thought was interesting and was related to this subject. Warning, it's pretty long, and apologies if you like Hannah Gadsby as the author really rips into her, but the author is an older queer activist who shares a different perspective I don't see often. I don't agree with everything in it, but the general idea rings true for me. I highly recommend it! :)
https://yasminnair.com/your-trauma-is-your-passport-hannah-gadsby-nanette-and-global-citizenship/
Re: Unpopular Opinion...
(Anonymous) 2023-08-04 03:50 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Unpopular Opinion...
(Anonymous) 2023-08-04 04:23 pm (UTC)(link)She has more writing here: https://www.currentaffairs.org/author/yasmin-nair
Re: Unpopular Opinion...
(Anonymous) 2023-08-04 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)