mindlessflight (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mindlessflight) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
anonrerising2022-08-02 07:34 pm
mindlessflight) wrote in anonrerising2022-08-02 07:34 pm
I was kinkinda hoping to avoid this flavor of discourse but since we're down this road anyway, might as well state something for the record that muddies the waters even more:
There absolutely is a segment of people who react to any request not to call someone queer - even phrased poliely as in your example - as a boundry not worth respecting. It's happened to me, in fact! (I'm not triggered by 'queer' but its not something i'm jazzed about people i dont know well calling me either) but some people have acted like me saying "hey i don't like being called queer actually" is a personal attack.
So while i understand terfs do use the phrase, and the wariness, i can also (and have seen) see similar blunt phrases coming from non-terfs who've had their boundries stomped on too many times before and are sick of being nice
AYRT
Alright, I respect that. I personally don't view people censoring themselves by referring to it as q-slur instead of queer to be an attack on others because they're policing their own language about their own identity rather than anyone else's (for example, I would disagree if someone the word genderqueer if referring to someone else as that's very disrespectful). However I completely understand why you might dislike the term even if it's not being used in reference to you. I probably shouldn't continue this kind of discussion on here since this is a FR drama comm, but I appreciate your insight!
Alright, I respect that. I personally don't view people censoring themselves by referring to it as q-slur instead of queer to be an attack on others because they're policing their own language about their own identity rather than anyone else's (for example, I would disagree if someone the word genderqueer if referring to someone else as that's very disrespectful). However I completely understand why you might dislike the term even if it's not being used in reference to you. I probably shouldn't continue this kind of discussion on here since this is a FR drama comm, but I appreciate your insight!
AYRT
I understand where you're coming from, but it's kind of hard for me to wrap my head around. If I put myself in their perspective, I tend to think kind of like "If I were uncomfortable with this word, and had politely asked people in the past, and they did not respect it to begin with, I would definitely slowly be less polite/meek and more front and center and assertive about it!" From my perspective I feel like if someone has something like that front and center in their profile, I would assume it's more someone trying to help someone to see a boundary they've had stepped on over and over. But honestly I do understand what you're saying and I appreciate your perspective on it, sorry for all the walls of text lol. I should probably stop going back and forth since this is an FR drama comm and not meant for this kind of discussion so I hope you have a good night!
I understand where you're coming from, but it's kind of hard for me to wrap my head around. If I put myself in their perspective, I tend to think kind of like "If I were uncomfortable with this word, and had politely asked people in the past, and they did not respect it to begin with, I would definitely slowly be less polite/meek and more front and center and assertive about it!" From my perspective I feel like if someone has something like that front and center in their profile, I would assume it's more someone trying to help someone to see a boundary they've had stepped on over and over. But honestly I do understand what you're saying and I appreciate your perspective on it, sorry for all the walls of text lol. I should probably stop going back and forth since this is an FR drama comm and not meant for this kind of discussion so I hope you have a good night!
ntayrt
With the event overhaul last year that made it easier to get chests, this is totally not a surprise to me. I do wish the people who got hundreds of eggs were a little more responsible about the market, but there's usually one person who's dumb about it.
I haven't sold all mine yet so I'm a little bummed, but its only a fraction and I'll probably just hatch them, honestly.
With the event overhaul last year that made it easier to get chests, this is totally not a surprise to me. I do wish the people who got hundreds of eggs were a little more responsible about the market, but there's usually one person who's dumb about it.
I haven't sold all mine yet so I'm a little bummed, but its only a fraction and I'll probably just hatch them, honestly.
nayrt
this is something i dont understand and i guess since this conversation is happening this might be an opportunity for me to understand it so sorry for hopping on here. I don't like queer being applied to myself, a gay man, for many reasons, but i also will call myself fag and my friends faggots, whatever we do as faggy etc. To me this seems similar to how others use queer, reclaiming something and taking its power away/rejecting being 'one of the good ones,' but i would not consider it insulting to my identity as a fag for someone else to say 'dont call me the f-slur,' what is it that makes it rejecting of your identity to recognize the word as something that is recognized as a slur?
this is something i dont understand and i guess since this conversation is happening this might be an opportunity for me to understand it so sorry for hopping on here. I don't like queer being applied to myself, a gay man, for many reasons, but i also will call myself fag and my friends faggots, whatever we do as faggy etc. To me this seems similar to how others use queer, reclaiming something and taking its power away/rejecting being 'one of the good ones,' but i would not consider it insulting to my identity as a fag for someone else to say 'dont call me the f-slur,' what is it that makes it rejecting of your identity to recognize the word as something that is recognized as a slur?
What do I do about a TERF putting up stickers in the toilets? A few weeks ago I noticed a TERF sticker in the toilets at my work. I've reached out to HR but they don't seem to care. I do know who is putting up the stickers, but let's just say I didn't find out in the most ethical of ways lmao
Ew yikes. Depending on how much effort you want to put into it I'd vandalize them with a sharpie, cover them with new stickers, or try to remove them.
By dumb, you mean the icebergs of dozens or hundreds all listed at once? Yeah, those are annoying. If there's just a handful cheaper than mine, maybe I don't drop my price, just wait it out. You see something like the above though, you have to accept that the floor's dropping and undercut accordingly, accelerating said problem.
Reframe it as 'someone is destroying company's property', do not add more details on what kind of content they promote (assuming you didn't already do that). If there's a building manager, try them instead, also just mention 'property destruction' without details. If HR/building manager is fine with such 'destruction', add any other sticker on the terfy ones, don't bother with a particular message, neither their readers nor the one adding the stickers will change their minds easily anyway - or at least no random sticker in a bathroom made me change my mind, I go to the work bathroom to poop, not to hold debates.
Honestly, agreed, no one is going to change their mind over toilet stickers. My vote is just cover the message with stupid cheap stickers or sharpy. Sharpy may be better, as you can't be accused of damaging the toilet with stickers yourself then.
I don't care if it changes people's minds. It's incredibly hostile. I really feel like I need to hold the girl who posted them accountable. Weirdly enough, unlike most TERFs, she isn't ugly. I only found out who it was after looking through her bag lmao
AYRT
What's her looks have to do with anything?... Frankly, instead of trying to hold her accountable (you're not the police or her mother or her boss), I'd suggest reflecting on why the first thing to pop into your mind to comment on is her appearance.
What's her looks have to do with anything?... Frankly, instead of trying to hold her accountable (you're not the police or her mother or her boss), I'd suggest reflecting on why the first thing to pop into your mind to comment on is her appearance.
Because most TERFs are ugly? It's pretty rare to meet one that's not imo
TERFs suck, but you’re weird as hell for snooping through other people’s private belongings.
Touching other people's stuff without premission and 'looking through' it is creepier than some girl thinking she's in high school to stick crap in the bathroom.
you both sound like terrible people. i hope i don't work in the same company as you two
Being a TERF in itself is a pretty awful thing in itself, just sayin'
I've always hated when people bring up looks when talking about these types of people. There's probably someone that you'd consider "ugly" but also has the same views as you, so mentioning looks is pointless and makes you look shallow.
There's plenty enough that are attractive that they are the face of the movement, and plenty that are "normal looking" AND rich that carry the movement- look at JKR.
Also like... there's nothing wrong with being physically unattractive; it's not something folks can help sometimes. Conflating physical appearance with being evil is shitty behavior, too, considering terfs usually do the same thing to trans women.
You can insult plenty of other things about a terf without insulting their appearance.
Just gonna leave this here:
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/452/942/9a5.png
Also like... there's nothing wrong with being physically unattractive; it's not something folks can help sometimes. Conflating physical appearance with being evil is shitty behavior, too, considering terfs usually do the same thing to trans women.
You can insult plenty of other things about a terf without insulting their appearance.
Just gonna leave this here:
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/452/942/9a5.png
It's basically just parroting the "attraciveness = moral character" cultural baggage we've been dealing with way too long now
JK Rowling is not attractive at all
ayrt
My experience with the q-slur crowd is, even if they are not terfs, they've decided that this is the Worst Word Ever and completely unreclaimable. They aren't saying don't use it on them, they're saying don't use it at all. I've rarely run into a person who uses q-slur that doesn't think like that, and think that people using it are either ignorant and in need of education. Or terrible people (and then the accusations of other, truly bad, things starts). This is my lived experience, so it does not apply universally, of course. Maybe I just hang out in the wrong corners of the internet.
Thank you for trying to understand my position here, and for being so civil. If it helps, I do understand your position on it, and would love it to be the true and correct one. It would make the world that much lovelier. I wish you all the best, but I think, like you, I will be ending my part in the discussion here
My experience with the q-slur crowd is, even if they are not terfs, they've decided that this is the Worst Word Ever and completely unreclaimable. They aren't saying don't use it on them, they're saying don't use it at all. I've rarely run into a person who uses q-slur that doesn't think like that, and think that people using it are either ignorant and in need of education. Or terrible people (and then the accusations of other, truly bad, things starts). This is my lived experience, so it does not apply universally, of course. Maybe I just hang out in the wrong corners of the internet.
Thank you for trying to understand my position here, and for being so civil. If it helps, I do understand your position on it, and would love it to be the true and correct one. It would make the world that much lovelier. I wish you all the best, but I think, like you, I will be ending my part in the discussion here
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