nayrt honestly this is why i side eye people who get mad that "aeq is way too mean!" not saying that aeq has never been rude obviously but if i was dealing with what aeq deals on a consistent basis i would be way way wayyy less patient with every rude person that comes my way, so whenever i see people complain about it just feels like they whined and complained about something and got mad that aeq told them no.
I have absolutely found that people interpret a polite-but-firm knock it off as rude. There’s a client contact a lot of my current office mates think is kinda rude and brusque. To me he’s just…corporate bland, but suffers no shit.
Also, learning to accept criticism gracefully is a process, and a lot of FR players *are* very young. No one likes being told they’re wrong. It’s easy to confuse “I feel hurt” with “this person is being hurtful”.
I definitely agree on your point. I find that some people tend to find anything that doesn't align with what they want to hear or if they didn't manage to get what they want from them as 'rude', even if it might be phrased as politely as possible. I'm not much of a people-pleaser so this attitude pisses me off, especially since it is almost always followed up with vitriol - I can't imagine what it's like for folks with people-pleasing tendencies, they must feel guilt-tripped af by these people. Customer-facing folks also tend to face this irksome behavior on a regular basis and that's why I consider it important to be nice to them.
This behavior doesn't seem much more common amongst younger people vs older ones IMO. In my experience there's just as much of this behavior amongst adults, which is unfortunate.
Going on a tangent but I've seen fellow adults in another game community finding issues with a mod's profile just because it's phrased in a way that is firm and that they will not trade something of theirs. I literally did not find their profile rude in any way and it's within their rights to enforce their personal boundaries anyway - being a mod doesn't mean they have to give in to other players when it comes to trades etc. Maybe if I squint a little, I'd find it slightly abrasive but I won't be surprised if it's because they received a fuck ton of PMs about it in the past that blatantly disregarded what they wrote. I actually got tons of pushback for that and someone even cited 'cultural differences' when it comes to reading tone (kinda weirded out by the way this is brought up tbh). Funnily enough another more established user also agreed with me on their tone and they got way less pushback and even got the same group of people agreeing with them or at least trying to see their pov and now that I typed that out, it felt like there was some degree of prejudice involved. But yeah anyway, I won't be surprised if people also have higher standards for staff and the like, which is not to say it isn't expected but some of these standards could be, idk if this is the proper word for it, unrealistic? Just because they're staff doesn't mean users are entitled to cross their boundaries or treat them as the public punching bag.
I say “younger people” purely because learning to make that differentiation between “I’m hurt” and “Person is being hurtful” takes time, and experience, and maturity, and generally I see most people beginning to master it in the 16-22 age range (late highschool through college in the US). There’s plenty of people who just never learn it, and get aggressive over it.
But yeah, people have unreasonably high standards for their mods sometimes.
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anonrerising2024-10-08 11:48 am
Re: the essay replying to aequorin
(Anonymous) 2024-10-09 04:55 am (UTC)(link)honestly this is why i side eye people who get mad that "aeq is way too mean!"
not saying that aeq has never been rude obviously but if i was dealing with what aeq deals on a consistent basis i would be way way wayyy less patient with every rude person that comes my way, so whenever i see people complain about it just feels like they whined and complained about something and got mad that aeq told them no.
Re: the essay replying to aequorin
(Anonymous) 2024-10-09 07:43 am (UTC)(link)Also, learning to accept criticism gracefully is a process, and a lot of FR players *are* very young. No one likes being told they’re wrong. It’s easy to confuse “I feel hurt” with “this person is being hurtful”.
Re: the essay replying to aequorin
(Anonymous) 2024-10-09 01:19 pm (UTC)(link)I definitely agree on your point. I find that some people tend to find anything that doesn't align with what they want to hear or if they didn't manage to get what they want from them as 'rude', even if it might be phrased as politely as possible. I'm not much of a people-pleaser so this attitude pisses me off, especially since it is almost always followed up with vitriol - I can't imagine what it's like for folks with people-pleasing tendencies, they must feel guilt-tripped af by these people. Customer-facing folks also tend to face this irksome behavior on a regular basis and that's why I consider it important to be nice to them.
This behavior doesn't seem much more common amongst younger people vs older ones IMO. In my experience there's just as much of this behavior amongst adults, which is unfortunate.
Going on a tangent but I've seen fellow adults in another game community finding issues with a mod's profile just because it's phrased in a way that is firm and that they will not trade something of theirs. I literally did not find their profile rude in any way and it's within their rights to enforce their personal boundaries anyway - being a mod doesn't mean they have to give in to other players when it comes to trades etc. Maybe if I squint a little, I'd find it slightly abrasive but I won't be surprised if it's because they received a fuck ton of PMs about it in the past that blatantly disregarded what they wrote. I actually got tons of pushback for that and someone even cited 'cultural differences' when it comes to reading tone (kinda weirded out by the way this is brought up tbh). Funnily enough another more established user also agreed with me on their tone and they got way less pushback and even got the same group of people agreeing with them or at least trying to see their pov and now that I typed that out, it felt like there was some degree of prejudice involved. But yeah anyway, I won't be surprised if people also have higher standards for staff and the like, which is not to say it isn't expected but some of these standards could be, idk if this is the proper word for it, unrealistic? Just because they're staff doesn't mean users are entitled to cross their boundaries or treat them as the public punching bag.
Re: the essay replying to aequorin
(Anonymous) 2024-10-09 04:57 pm (UTC)(link)I say “younger people” purely because learning to make that differentiation between “I’m hurt” and “Person is being hurtful” takes time, and experience, and maturity, and generally I see most people beginning to master it in the 16-22 age range (late highschool through college in the US). There’s plenty of people who just never learn it, and get aggressive over it.
But yeah, people have unreasonably high standards for their mods sometimes.