Nonny, I am so, so sorry. My own pet died at age 36- and 33 of those years were with me.
It's hard, feeling their absence like a black hole in your life.
Idk if you've heard of the Grief Ball In a Box analogy, but it's very fitting.
https://imgur.com/gallery/ball-box-iivATow
The key difference is, with a pet that's been in your life for so long, the ball is less of a ball, and more shaped like your pet- and the sharper parts of the shape hurt even more when they make contact with the pain button.
Pets often have a place in our lives other humans don't- so when you feel their absence in that way, it hurts more.
The pain gets better. The pet-shape in the box shrinks. Their memory stops hurting after a while, and becomes a source of bittersweet nostalgia.
I know society in general mocks folks who treat pets like family, but have a funeral or a memorial for your cat in a way that gives you closure.
(I sent my pet to a vulture to have his remains preserved in the way that felt best for me, and it's given me an odd sense of closure, knowing he's being seen to by an undertaker who specializes and has passion for the animals they tend to.)
I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope you heal in time.
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(Anonymous) 2025-05-26 05:22 pm (UTC)(link)It's hard, feeling their absence like a black hole in your life.
Idk if you've heard of the Grief Ball In a Box analogy, but it's very fitting.
https://imgur.com/gallery/ball-box-iivATow
The key difference is, with a pet that's been in your life for so long, the ball is less of a ball, and more shaped like your pet- and the sharper parts of the shape hurt even more when they make contact with the pain button.
Pets often have a place in our lives other humans don't- so when you feel their absence in that way, it hurts more.
The pain gets better. The pet-shape in the box shrinks. Their memory stops hurting after a while, and becomes a source of bittersweet nostalgia.
I know society in general mocks folks who treat pets like family, but have a funeral or a memorial for your cat in a way that gives you closure.
(I sent my pet to a vulture to have his remains preserved in the way that felt best for me, and it's given me an odd sense of closure, knowing he's being seen to by an undertaker who specializes and has passion for the animals they tend to.)
I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope you heal in time.