nayrt, but i know quite a few trans people (especially trans women) who are afraid of / wary of cis lesbians because of their repeated experiences with violence or harassment from them. (and while this gets off the main point, i know bi/pan people and aspec people who've dealt with harassment campaigns and really vicious cruelty from cis lesbian dogpiles, too. terfs and the like tend to target cis lesbians for radicalization, and they do that by isolating them against the rest of the lgbtq+ community, convincing them that mlm, bi women, trans people, etc are out to "steal" from them and hurt them.)

i think that the ideal response from us lesbians isnt to shame trans people for being traumatized or scarred by the transphobia theyve faced, but to be especially vigilant and stubborn about keeping terfs and the like out of queer spaces, and about standing up for trans people.

like, this is basically "not all men" territory. of course not all cis lesbians are dangerous or transphobic, but when it comes up often enough to be a pattern, and when that pattern makes other marginalized people unsafe, it's better to actually deal with that behavior rather than :/ing at the targets for admitting their messy feelings.