I'm starting to think that maybe I'm a toxic person who is unpleasant to be around on Discord. But I can't tell if it's because of how I am as a person, or if it's because I've only ever been active in servers where the regulars are toxic drama mongers. I get into fights a lot, but it's always only been with people who've been mentioned in wanker threads. Does that mean I'm justified in verbalizing how I don't like the way they act, or does opening my mouth make me just as bad as them?

I hated my flight's server for being cliquey and got banned for being combative. I hate the 18+ server I'm in now because all of the regulars piss me off and Dakkoki lurks there and everyone is fine having him around. I can tell nobody likes me in that server either, for some reason I haven't been banned yet. (Maybe that's part of the problem. I've never seen someone get banned.)

It feels shitty because I think if I tried to find refuge in a new server, I would just bring this toxicity in with me. I want people to talk to, I want to feel like I'm not crazy for going against the grain. Maybe I'll never fit in anywhere, because I don't conform to the norms of Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, TikTok, Reddit, or 4chan subcultures.

I need to touch grass, don't I...