Nonny, I will not pretend I know anything going in your life or anything, but let me tell you life is worth living, no matter how shit and bleak it appears now it will eventually get better.

If anything, what kept me from doing what you plan on doing was thinking how much it'd hurt the people I'd leave behind and well, as Mindless said don't make those dragons, sprites and other frankly dead items turn into a memory of sadness for them.

I encourage you to think over it some more, I am aware I am a few days after this was posted but if anything please do think and maybe reach out to any of the resources posted before you do anything.

https://youarerad.org/