I was kinkinda hoping to avoid this flavor of discourse but since we're down this road anyway, might as well state something for the record that muddies the waters even more:
There absolutely is a segment of people who react to any request not to call someone queer - even phrased poliely as in your example - as a boundry not worth respecting. It's happened to me, in fact! (I'm not triggered by 'queer' but its not something i'm jazzed about people i dont know well calling me either) but some people have acted like me saying "hey i don't like being called queer actually" is a personal attack.
So while i understand terfs do use the phrase, and the wariness, i can also (and have seen) see similar blunt phrases coming from non-terfs who've had their boundries stomped on too many times before and are sick of being nice
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anonrerising2022-08-02 07:34 pm
Re: not trying to stir anything
(Anonymous) 2022-10-17 12:20 am (UTC)(link)I was kinkinda hoping to avoid this flavor of discourse but since we're down this road anyway, might as well state something for the record that muddies the waters even more:
There absolutely is a segment of people who react to any request not to call someone queer - even phrased poliely as in your example - as a boundry not worth respecting. It's happened to me, in fact! (I'm not triggered by 'queer' but its not something i'm jazzed about people i dont know well calling me either) but some people have acted like me saying "hey i don't like being called queer actually" is a personal attack.
So while i understand terfs do use the phrase, and the wariness, i can also (and have seen) see similar blunt phrases coming from non-terfs who've had their boundries stomped on too many times before and are sick of being nice