It's All Made Up, Anyway.

[mindlessflight]

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Re: ado

[(Anonymous)]

I mean I'm not going to try and pretend like it isn't me somewhat obsessing over knowing what people are saying about me and wanting to try and defend myself, and I won't lie and say that I know I shouldn't and I should just let it all go, but it's difficult to see people shitting on you and not want to defend yourself, ya know? Try and at least clear the air, or explain my viewpoint and have some kind of productive conversation to get to at least a mutual understanding.

A lot of my posting just comes down to the fact that I want to come to some kind of mutual understanding where, even if it turns out both I and whatever anon I'm talking to end up still disagreeing, at least its mutual and not someone just actively shitting on me for a reason they made up.

So I am sorry for coming off as hovering/like I have control issues about it, I can't say its healthy to constantly want to see what people are saying, but at this moment I don't really know how to stop it/I cannot logically stop once I have started. No excuse, still looks shitty, but I guess that's the only explanation I can give

Re: ado

[(Anonymous)]

sa

yeah, anxiety is a bitch. you can't please everyone and the sooner you swallow that pill the better

if a therapist isn't an option, look up DBT worksheets. i think concepts like "radical acceptance" and "opposite action" would be useful to you. make that anxiety YOUR bitch

Re: ado

[(Anonymous)]

yeah, thanks for understanding and being respectful about it, I do genuinely know its a problem and acknowledge it but *motions vaguely* logic doesn't usually prevail when you've got bad anxiety.

I will definitely look those things up and if anything all of this, as abrasive as the anon was, still gave me a good pause to look at myself and that what I'm doing isn't healthy either. I'll keep trying not to care as much about what people say but I can only hope it'll go well orz I think I need a dedicated person to hold me by the scruff like a kitten whenever I see someone posting about me so I have time to think before I instantly start trying to reply

Re: ado

[(Anonymous)]

I used to make myself angry and miserable browsing drama blogs (much less tame than the FR drama blogs) and what helped for me is using the cold turkey blocker to block them straight up. Once I'd done so I lost the compulsive need to check on them, since it'd become a bad habit to type in the URL when I had nothing to do. Perhaps this could be the solution for you?