Not trying to be rude but it feels kind of odd for you to say "there's nothing wrong with people not wanting to be referred to as queer" and then immediately agree with someone who jumps to the conclusion that op is definitely a TERF for something completely unrelated. Like, maybe they just don't like having the extra icon on their lair page?
And to be clear I don't think queer is a slur. It just feels like a lot of people who are in the same boat as me are really vitriolic towards people who just don't want to be called queer, which is like... fine and normal? I know in my personal experience people still used it in a cruel way towards me growing up and while I don't care I can see why people might feel uncomfortable with even saying it. Idk I'm not trying to pick a fight I just feel like we can extend compassion to other members of our community without assuming an expression of vulnerability is actually something done with malicious intent *shrug*