The movement of the queer movement dates back DECADES of history of the word being used as an umbrella term. So while not wanting to be called queer is perfectly fine to call it a slur is an insult to the decades of people that use it as an identifier, especially as an inclusive one.

https://submalevolentgrace.tumblr.com/post/691852873402810368/if-i-say-the-queer-community-i-am-referring-to

https://dreaminginstasis.tumblr.com/post/142937384375/queer-is-not-a-slur