yeah, thanks for understanding and being respectful about it, I do genuinely know its a problem and acknowledge it but *motions vaguely* logic doesn't usually prevail when you've got bad anxiety.

I will definitely look those things up and if anything all of this, as abrasive as the anon was, still gave me a good pause to look at myself and that what I'm doing isn't healthy either. I'll keep trying not to care as much about what people say but I can only hope it'll go well orz I think I need a dedicated person to hold me by the scruff like a kitten whenever I see someone posting about me so I have time to think before I instantly start trying to reply