Recently brought up on DR for the profile comment "I am she/her/hers. I am not "they", there is only one of me."
As someone who is NB I decided to drop them a pretty quick message. I let her know that it's completely reasonable to not want to be referred by pronouns she doesn't like, but why her statement could be considered rude/offensive to those who do use they/them pronouns. I plainly stated that I didn't think her intention was to be malicious but that I wanted her to know how others may see it, and offered to explain anything if she had questions.
The response I got is -
"No insult intended, but please, you do you, and please let me do me. I admit that what I wrote was an angry protest against people who call me "they" even after I tell them I'm "she", and people who refuse to comply with requests like the one you suggested, but I also have autism with strong word related biases."
I get it. That would be really frustrating to be continuously referred to as the wrong pronoun even after correcting people. That happens to me a lot. I still don't think it really excuses the comment, though.
Anyway this is pretty copy and pasted it seems like because this is now on her profile-
"No insult intended, but please, you do you, and please let me do me. I have autism with strong word related biases and penchant for word play. Remember that there is a fine line between being open minded and forcing your views on others. Also, I don't CARE what gender/pronoun someone is, so long as that person's not not viewing me as a sex object based on that gender/pronoun, and are ready to just let me be a platonic crazy old Christian woman and talk to me about Transformers, our dragons, and other geeky stuff. To me, people are people, and I like people, even though they scare the heck out of me sometimes."
'Please let me continue to belittle they/them pronouns. Even after being told so, I don't care if it personally upsets those who are NB.' Is what I'm getting out of this.
Maybe I'm a little more annoyed than I should be because it personally hits home for me? I hear the "they/them isn't even grammatically correct dumbass it's for groups of people lmaoo" far too often from shitty transphobes. Feel free to tell me if I'm wrong here nonnies.
(I also don't think that autism is a good excuse for ignoring that people are upset with your word choice and making the choice to actively ignore other people's feelings after it was brought to your attention.)
UtterlyWeird
As someone who is NB I decided to drop them a pretty quick message. I let her know that it's completely reasonable to not want to be referred by pronouns she doesn't like, but why her statement could be considered rude/offensive to those who do use they/them pronouns. I plainly stated that I didn't think her intention was to be malicious but that I wanted her to know how others may see it, and offered to explain anything if she had questions.
The response I got is -
"No insult intended, but please, you do you, and please let me do me. I admit that what I wrote was an angry protest against people who call me "they" even after I tell them I'm "she", and people who refuse to comply with requests like the one you suggested, but I also have autism with strong word related biases."
I get it. That would be really frustrating to be continuously referred to as the wrong pronoun even after correcting people. That happens to me a lot. I still don't think it really excuses the comment, though.
Anyway this is pretty copy and pasted it seems like because this is now on her profile-
"No insult intended, but please, you do you, and please let me do me. I have autism with strong word related biases and penchant for word play. Remember that there is a fine line between being open minded and forcing your views on others. Also, I don't CARE what gender/pronoun someone is, so long as that person's not not viewing me as a sex object based on that gender/pronoun, and are ready to just let me be a platonic crazy old Christian woman and talk to me about Transformers, our dragons, and other geeky stuff. To me, people are people, and I like people, even though they scare the heck out of me sometimes."
'Please let me continue to belittle they/them pronouns. Even after being told so, I don't care if it personally upsets those who are NB.' Is what I'm getting out of this.
Maybe I'm a little more annoyed than I should be because it personally hits home for me? I hear the "they/them isn't even grammatically correct dumbass it's for groups of people lmaoo" far too often from shitty transphobes. Feel free to tell me if I'm wrong here nonnies.
(I also don't think that autism is a good excuse for ignoring that people are upset with your word choice and making the choice to actively ignore other people's feelings after it was brought to your attention.)